concerns about crying
Do you know that better sleep is what’s best for you and your child but are really concerned about the crying? Are you afraid your child will be traumatized? I was too! Keep reading if so.
Every child possesses a natural ability to meet their own sleep needs without intervention, to put themselves to sleep and back to sleep between cycles. We just need to give them the right opportunity to do so. And that often involves crying at first, because it’s new to them.
However, we will always gradually ease the child into these changes so that we see the least amount of crying possible.
I believe in meeting all of a child’s legitamite needs, but not necessarily all of their wants, especially if what they want isn’t what’s best for them.
You may have tried sleep training on your own and seen a large amount of crying, but my approach is holistic, and each part of the puzzle works together to prepare your child so that we see less crying overall.
My approach is evidence-based and supportive of healthy attachment between parent and child. We actually see parent-child attachment improve when both are getting the rest they need, and therefore able to be more present with one another.
Here’s the truth about children crying during sleep:
Crying is something that babies, children and adults do when something is happening that they don't like or aren’t used to. Sometimes, we want something that isn't best for us (like to stay up all night) or we DON'T want something that IS best for us (like getting the rest we need). Crying is just how babies express that they don't like what's happening.
Let's say you're holding your two year old's hands as you cross a busy street, but they're screaming and crying because they want to let go of your hand and play in oncoming traffic. Of course, even though they're crying, you won't let go of their hand, because you know what's best for them better than they do.
The job of a parent is to decide what's best for our children and sometimes require them to do things they don't want to do at the time
We would love for our children to never experience a single tear in their entire lives and to exist in a constant state of happiness and contentment, but that's just not possible. However, I can promise you this: your child will be much happier overall if they're consistently getting the sleep they need.
TRUTHS TO THINK ON WHILE YOUR CHILD IS CRYING:
This is what’s best for them
This is what’s best for the entire family
I can be a better parent if I'm rested
My child is crying to protest a change and not because they aren't getting something that they need
They can have food and loving attention in the morning
My child is getting plenty of milk and comfort during the daytime hours
There will be more crying overall if my child doesn't get the sleep they need, because they will be overtired and fussy and fight sleep
Stress hormones are higher in babies who don't get adequate sleep than they are in babies who are sleep trained
Sleep training does not hurt parent-child attachment. It actually helps it, as a parent is able to more present and responsive to their child when they're both well rested
Uninterrupted nighttime sleep is necessary for a child’s development, immune system, mood and gives their digestive system a break
This crying is occurring because babies are creatures of habits and my child has gotten used to waking in the night at this time, but they absolutely will not starve from missing one meal they're used to eating
Crying doesn't always mean that your child has an unmet need, as they also cry to express a want. Babies often want to eat or play in the middle of the night (just like adults..sometimes we'd rather eat popcorn & watch Netflix all night instead of sleep) but we know it’s best for them to eat and play during the day, and use the darkness of nighttime to rest, repair, and grow.
In working with me, you can feel confident in exactly when and how to intervene and support your child. Let’s get started!